


I'm Home

by CerebralHedonist



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 00:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15303915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CerebralHedonist/pseuds/CerebralHedonist
Summary: There's something horrifying about moving in with a lover...Even more so when it takes you from one country to another and there's no competitions to distract. No rivalry, no motive. You've already won... so... the monster awakens and settles in the place where happiness should be. What can you do with the pounding heart and the shortness of breath when nothing else helps?Perhaps realize... it's okay for it to not be okay?





	I'm Home

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to test out my ability to write Yuuri. Since I actually enjoyed how this turned out, I may write more things in between writing my own fiction. I really love YOI, so it definitely would be a joy to do.

The way the street lights danced over the stucco ceiling held a jarring opposition to the moonlight over Yuuri’s old ceiling. It hammered home that he no longer resided in Hasetsu, that there was no chance of the scent of hot springs and his mother’s katsudon wafting in if he decided to open the bedroom door. The honking horns outside and business of the night skipped his heart and Yuuri’s body seized.

Get up.

_Get up._

GET UP!

Yuuri was out of bed immediately. It really didn’t make sense. It’d already been a month and yet he still crept out of Victor’s arms in the dead of night to quietly panic elsewhere. Yes, there definitely always was anxiety when he traveled for competition. Coupled with the thought of losing, Yuuri often found himself near death with nerves. He always thought that _that_ was as bad as it could get. However, after the bubbling happiness and excitement of finally moving in together, Yuuri found a monster far greater than he anticipated. Now with his heart knocking against his chest like a creature seeking to rip its way out, Yuuri understood since that night and every night following that the simple games of hiding under the blankets until the world faded away were over. Yuuri couldn’t just cocoon himself where no one noticed anymore. 

Viktor shared his bed now. His bed… Their bed…

Yuuri’s hands trembled. He forced a deep sigh, hoping to relieve some of the tension and exited the room, glasses in hand. He took refuge in the kitchen. It became a haphazardly built routine that refined itself over the weeks. Slip out of bed, go to the kitchen, steal something unhealthy from the fridge—tonight’s fare being that expensive chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream he found at the supermarket—and hide on the couch with Makkachin snuggled against him beneath the throw. The poodle always knew when to be there and became a constant companion to his anxiety. It reminded him so much of Vikkun it hurt sometimes.

Yuuri sat in front of the TV, curling into the throw with Makkachin’s head laying atop his stomach. The trembling in his hand hindered him only a bit as he pushed spoonful after spoonful into his mouth. He whimpered and paused on the next. The sweet did nothing for his nerves and the pattering got worse. It hit hard and suddenly his face was wet as tears spilled over. He put the ice cream tub aside and drew up his knees, disturbing Makkachin from his comfortable place. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

This wasn’t home.

He was in Viktor’s house.

He couldn’t hide from it now.

He couldn’t push the monster back in the closet.

No practice to distract. No concern over the next competition to distract. No. no. no.

“Yuuri…”

Yuuri jumped, but before he could fully panic and add to his discomfort, strong and sure arms wrapped around him. One large hand rested flat on Yuuri’s chest and the other moved to remove his glasses and cover his tear streaked eyes. Gently, Viktor maneuvered him without jarring him and pressed his lover back against his bare chest were Yuuri could feel the ever-steady tattoo of his heart. Yuuri trembled, wanting to run, not wanting Viktor to see just how bad it got for him… just how troublesome it really was. If Viktor saw, then…

“Shh…”

Yuuri didn’t realize he’d started crying again until Viktor cooed at him.

“You’re not alone. You don’t have to deal with this by yourself. You don’t have to hide.”

“Vik—”

“This doesn’t scare me, Yuuri.”

Yuuri took in a shaky breath and sobbed nearly all at once. He went limp against Viktor, the trembling intensifying now that he no longer fought it. He cried openly until only hiccups remained. Viktor’s hold on him never tightened or trapped him, giving him room to break away if he needed. He didn’t whisper empty consolations, promises of things being alright. Nothing was alright right now, yet Viktor still held him. No ‘It’s going to be alright.’ No ‘You’re okay.’ No ‘Stop this. Nothing’s wrong.’ No assuming. But most importantly, no abandonment.

_This doesn’t scare me._

Yuuri calmed slowly, the monster curling back in its place to rest from the mayhem it’d caused. Breaths came easier and deeper. Heart slowed to match the gentle and unchanging patter of Viktor’s. Yuuri took another deep breath and nuzzled back against Viktor.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor whispered.

“Why?” Yuuri replied breathlessly. “I should be sorry. I woke you up.”

Viktor chuckled and hugged Yuuri closer, kissing the top of his lover’s head.

“Then you should apologize for the past three weeks, piglet.”

Yuuri blinked against Viktor’s palm which still rested over his eyes. He pulled it away and looked up at Viktor. “I…”

“No,” Viktor said kissing Yuuri’s forehead. “I just wondered when you’d share. I was trying to wait until you felt comfortable coming to me because you don’t like to be coddled but, even I grow impatient to prove myself, Yuuri.”

Yuuri tilted his head and lowered it with a melancholy smile. “I was so careful…”

“You were. But I know you now Yuuri. Let me know _this_ too?”

“It’s… nothing good.”

“I’m greedy, Yuuri. I’ve always wanted all and everything. I want this part of you too. I want to be the only one who has it.”

Yuuri laughed, a gentle blush settling over his cheeks. He turned just a bit and nestled his head into Viktor’s chest.

“I’m really here… aren’t I?”

“Mm.” Viktor nodded. “This is home, Yuuri. It may not be for you yet… but soon, this side of you will see it too.”

Yuuri smiled and closed his eyes, breathing in the subtle scent of Viktor’s skin and soaking up the warmth. It wasn’t the smell of the hot springs. It wasn’t fresh katsudon, nor the broth. However, this was his. This was _his_ …

Yuuri relaxed. “ _Tadaimasu…”_

“Welcome home, Yuuri,” Viktor whispered against his hair.

 

-End-


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